Are You Living The Life You Want?

A hippy enjoying the music and atmosphere at Knebworth rock festival. (Photo by Evening Standard/Getty Images)

Photo by Evening Standard/Getty Images

If you are actively taking charge of your life and living the life you want – consider yourself blessed. Millions of people around the world are unhappy – and the real numbers are not an exaggeration. According to a 2012 Report published by the World Health Organization, roughly one million individuals commit suicide every year. This means that every day, almost 3,000 individuals are taking their lives due to an overwhelming sense of unhappiness, sadness, loneliness, or despair. Life is precious, it is short and fleeting and sometimes, we lose our way. However, there are steps that can be taken to understand where you stand in terms of your unique situation and no matter how bleak it gets, you always, always have the option to change. It’s important to identify the boundaries that have been imposed on us by society, by our spouses, families, and even communities, and to also remember that although tradition is important and demonstrates identity, some aspects of it may also be grounded in erroneous beliefs and are usually geared towards pleasing “the group”; i.e., the family, community, and society (look who popped up again). We are conditioned to believe that we are merely part of the whole, but individual happiness is equally as, if not more important, to your health and your well-being. .

Do Not Be Afraid To Admit Your Unhappiness or Failure To Yourself

Believe it or not, admitting failure is one of the most difficult things we can do, and oftentimes, we rarely realize that this is so. It is ultimately more comforting to identify the unhappiness in others instead of admitting a personal failure to ourselves.

This is because we inherently link our failure to taking blame, and that creates an emotional burden for us as we prefer to avoid the negative emotions that blame tends to generate. According to Amy C. Edmonson in her article Strategies for Learning from Failure, we must identify these mistakes in order to come up with a real solution. The identification process alone can be a major eye-opener. You must constantly delve deeper into your mind, doggedly asking your “whys” in order to find your “because”. Once you know what the problem is, you will be able to solve it. The root of the problem is the most difficult to come to terms with; but as soon as you find it, you will know where to start.

Your Life Partner Is Detrimental To Your Success

The person you are with is extremely important in terms of your decisions and the general way your life will be channeled. This person becomes doubly influential if s/he is a life partner. Choose wisely; very, very wisely because although relationships should end if they are abusive, there are those that subtly lead us to destruction without us feeling it. A bad relationship is not just about physical violence, it can be a sullen one replete with apathy. Your life partner will ultimately determine how your life will go if manipulative, and if you do not recognize this, you will end up living a life you never wanted, with a partner you barely can take, and a life that was nothing like you ever wanted it to be. Remember when you were younger and you knew what you wanted to do? Remember when life seemed full of opportunity? You deserve to feel like that again.  This not only extends to abusive partners, it also extends to those that act like dead weight on your feet: they aren’t successful but stand in the place of your success, they do not share your enthusiasm for positive change, or they are constantly negative and do not wish to better themselves when the opportunity presents itself. They are however, always there to say “I told you so”. If this sounds familiar, then you deserve to either address it and make it better, or address it and let it dissolve. In both cases, it needs to be addressed.

Recognize That Only Fear Is Holding You Back 

“I can’t change my life” you might say, “I have children / parents / religion / society / bills”. You can place a million excuses which keep you in your comfort zone, but you need to understand that it is only your fear holding you back. It is preventing you from making a change, barring you from achieving your potential. And what is potential? It is that one thing you’re really good at but you buried it under your responsibilities because you don’t have time. It is doing something that may require sacrifice, money, or effort, but not worrying if you’re being selfish because you deserve to be happy. It is that feeling of accomplishment when you finally feel as if something gave and that you’re moving forward again, not stuck in that un-moving bubble where the world seemingly passes you by. Face whatever it is that is keeping you from experiencing the full spectrum of human emotion. It is fear, and it is real, and it is also pretty debilitating. But maybe, just maybe, after you’ve crossed that bridge and you take control of that fear, you’ll discover that it wasn’t so scary after all.

 

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If you’re having a really bad time and feel like there’s no way out, please speak to a qualified professional or you can even live chat with the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1(800) 273 – TALK

1(800) 273 – 8255

 

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2 Responses

  1. It is certainly very important for people to share feelings (like depression) and equally as important that we are active listeners.

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