Job Interviews From Hell (That Actually Happened)

We're all slaves to the system!

We suck!

Seven years of work in the Human Resources field have taught me so much about people, and many of those years involved constant interviewing to determine the best candidates for placement. A lot of people think that everyone prepares for an interview correctly; but you would be very, very surprised at the quality of candidates that may pop up. Below are examples of real situations and candidates that I have encountered as a Human Resources Manager and the obvious reasons why those candidates did not get the job. All of these are true.

The Candidate That Asked For Money

How YOU doin'?

How YOU doin’?

In one of the organizations I worked with, a candidate applied for a competitive position where a professional demeanor and people-skills played an integral role in the decision-making process. Other than the fact that he was late to the interview; he did not bother to call or apologize for the delay. Strike two was the clothing; this candidate was dressed in a t-shirt, jeans, and bright red sneakers. The final straw was when he wanted to “order” something to eat and drink before the interview even started. I suggested he grab some coffee or tea on his way out. When I did so – the candidate asked for money to buy the tea because “I only have a one hundred dollar bill and nobody is going to accept it”. The candidate obviously did not get the job. He did however, get offended because he did not get said job. After explaining that he was not qualified for the position, he cited racism as the reason why he was not hired and threatened to “take it to the courts”.

The Candidate That Brought His Family

How do I file a restraining order again?

How do I file a restraining order again?

It is usually not a great idea to bring your family to an interview, but we do understand that emergency circumstances may arise and that shit happens. Sometimes literally. One candidate brought his family with him, and we were fine until he actually asked to bring his wife, child, and baby stroller to the actual interview room. Dumbfounded, I agreed just to be on the safe side and cut the man some slack, although this is very unprofessional. When his wife started to make the appropriate noises instead of him as I described the job, it started to get annoying. Then the baby shit itself. I was stuck in a room smelling like a hot diaper and desperation. Then the stalking began. Phone calls every day, e-mails also sent daily, the whole enchilada. Oh – this guy was also pissed that he didn’t get the position too. Then he actually showed up and started threatening the company. Needless to say he didn’t get the job either, and we had to escort the gentleman out.

The Candidate Who Hates His Wife

Who are we kidding? When was the last time your boss smiled like this at you?

Who are we kidding? When was the last time your boss smiled like this at you?

You don’t discuss your marital problems during your first interview unless there is something specific that is occurring at home that may affect your performance (court, divorce proceedings, etc..). One candidate I interviewed proceeded to mention how much he disliked his wife, that she gave him a viral disease, that she cheated on him, that she doesn’t take care of her children, and that she was a “crack-head”. Why this candidate decided to volunteer this information after I asked him: “when are you able to start?” is beyond me.

The Resurrection

I'm a douchebag!

I’m a douchebag!

One candidate actually proceeded to the final rounds; he was a seemingly decent guy with some great potential, and he was an older candidate who had just been blessed with a newborn. On his first day of work, disaster struck; the newborn had tragically lost its life. We were all very upset for him, and even the higher executives gave him a call and offered their condolences. He was of course, given time off to take care of his family. A week later, the candidate was back. We didn’t want to discuss his son’s death because we thought he’d feel bad. Another week goes by and he calls me one day to explain that he can’t come to work because his newborn had a doctor’s appointment. Yes, that newborn. The one that supposedly passed away.

Have a similar experience? Let me know in the comments!

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1 Response

  1. Wow, stupid people really are everywhere lol. great post and love your captions! I am visiting from the blog group of Facebook.

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